el beso del final

time and patience. they make such a difference, why can't i ever remember?

perfectly horrid day yesterday. car accident, dumb boys, stupid bosses, and annoying (if not predictable) election results. have i mentioned i'm ready for 2006 to be over? i can't believe it - two weeks from today i will be running around DC with the amazing, wonderful, fantastic Gitta... i am so ready to see her!! also - i have just received a eerily-perfectly timed email from anthony in san diego, informing me that i'm more than welcome to spend NYE with him, which rocks. also - val & the girls are headed to sunny florida for the festivites, which i am also considering. either way, i won't be within 200 miles of stupid DC and all of its BAAAAAAAAD karma.

karma's a funny thing, ain't it? i'm seriously starting to subscribe to the theory. apparently i've done some pretty horrible things in my short 26 years on this planet, or perhaps i killed someone in a former life. either way.... *sigh*

so yesterday was the election. i was shocked and appalled that the marriage amendment in virginia was so overwhelmingly passed... and although several people have commented that i shouldn't have been surprised, i simply expected the margin to be closer. it blows my mind that virginia continues to be such an abyss of citizens who refuse to think about the bigger picture. but, the good news is that a change is on the horizon. other states were not as short-sighted as my own, and i think overall the results were for the better. now with the exit of big donald, it definitely feels like a change is in the air.

not to mention, perhaps the most exciting news story of all is the big divorce betwixt brit and kfed. oh brit, i'm here for ya girl. way to go!
i must say it's quite inspiring to see the new pictures of her out and about enjoying her life and making the tough, but necessary decisions. reports are saying she had to do it now, to avoid spending more money on KFed's future per their pre-nup.

in not entirely unrelated news.... lost is on tonight, the last new episode until february 7, 2007. it seems like an eternity away, but that's just thirteen weeks. thirteen weeks in the past was august 9th, the wednesday before my birthday, and that doesn't seem so long ago, although so much has changed since then. therefore, in the spirit of both time moving so quickly and britney's admirable resolve, i am hereby making a pledge. a pledge to myself, about myself. forget new years' resolutions, no one keeps them anyway. i am resolving to change, to return, with my favorite show, on february 7 as a new and improved person. i had a fantastic weekend in philadelphia (spending most of it *not* with valerie) and krista remarked that i'm starting to seem like my old self. i'm not sure which old self she's referring to, but i do think i'm starting to re-develop a thick skin. yesterday, the car accident and a simple website altercation could have pushed me other the edge, but instead i feel... indifferent. i'm tired of being sad, i've maxed out my emotional spending limit. it's not as cut and dry as "i was unhappy now i don't care"... but, by and large, you have to pick your battles, right? well i'm waving the white flag. i give up. moving on.

so yeah, i'm giving myself a deadline for change and progress. thirteen weeks for space and reconstruction. i'll still blog, of course, but other sites, other faces, other places, time for a break. time for work.

~courtney

"yo te conozco y se
que algo no anda bien,
ven, dime la verdad, no quiero imaginar,
que fue el beso del final."
~xtina aguilera