I know that you'll still love me, like you did, like before..

rainy day. this morning i struggled to hold on to my umbrella for the two blocks from the parking garage to my building, and as the traffic rushed around me i closed my eyes for a second and could have sworn i was back in london. :) it was a pleasant thought. it's funny, i'll see my reflection in windows during the day... i look like an adult... heels, business attire, walking with a serious purpose... it makes me giggle. i don't feel like an adult!

last night, we had a belated surprise birthday party for brian, complete with Carebear cake and jello shots. :) good times! i love my friends! :) after the party we headed down the road to close down the irish pub. *sigh* someone was pretending that she doesn't have a day job! it was fun though... i met a cute little boy from northern ireland (courtney will you ever learn?) and we conspired to marry one another so he can stay here and i can move back to london. hehehe. 'twas mostly a joke but numbers were exchanged so who knows? (an exchange, i might add, that was not lost on my favorite mistake. perhaps i am mistaken, but i do believe the green-eyed monster was floating about the irish pub last night, hehehe.)

speaking of my favorite mistake, i am happy to report that my improved mentality, and several weeks of being markedly indifferent, finally paid off last night as an actual conversation took place. a really real, for-real conversation. for a fleeting second, i was supremely happy, and it was obvious that the pleasure was not one-sided. i love it that the result is what i had guessed it would be.

i'm not kidding myself into thinking things are totally back to normal, and i actually think i don't *want* things back to normal. i mean, knowing what i know now is important, i'll never look at him the same way... but... it was nice to remember why i cared in the first place.

headed to the 930 tonight for jaime cullum with micah. it's micah's choice, since he saw starsailor with me last month. :)

~courtney

"Thought we were falling apart,
but you made me feel so pretty
Like you did, like before,
like we will be doing it once more"
~l.phair

Loving Myself First!