I got home from work last night, tired and frustrated but anxious to watch the rest of "Lost"... and then I saw it, a plain white envelope from GMU. I almost threw it away, thinking it was another newsletter or solicitation for donations, but, for whatever reason, I opened it. Had I known what it was, I'm not sure I would have been able to think clearly enough to tear open the envelope.
"Dear Friend," the letter begins, "As you were a supporter of Bob Hawkes's efforts in scholarship and teaching, I write to you to inform you of his untimely death." Over the course of two paragraphs, the letter reveals that he had been diagnosed with cancer last fall, and died at his family home earlier this week. The funeral services were taking place today, entirely too late for me to get out of work to attend.
They were wrong to refer to me as a "supporter" of Bob Hawkes, because I was so much more... pupil, fan, believer, follower...
Dr. Hawkes was one of my first professors at GMU. The course was History 121 in the fall of '98. He came highly recommended from a girl I knew through my job at the time, and I thanked her often over the next few years for the suggestion. I ended up taking four more of his courses throughout my five years at Mason, and subsequently minored in history purely because I realized I basically had finished the minor in his courses alone. His passion was Southern History... the Civil War, before and after, and the social impact it played on the world. He loved to lecture, and made every lesson into a fantasic story that literally forced you to hang onto his every word. His sense of humor was unquestionably unique, and he never hesitated to tell a joke if it seemed like he was losing anyone's attention.
Dr. Hawkes was a tough professor tho, don't be fooled. His exams were straight-forward and very thorough. I never cared for studying enough to completely ace his exams, but that didn't matter to me. I just loved being in his presence and feeding off of his excitement over the subject. As the years went by, I increasingly became "that" student regularly hanging out after class to talk with the teacher, and I made a point to stop by his office whenever I could to talk about history, Mason, life, or just whatever. He was such a huge personality that I think, in a way, I was a little intimidated by him, but I didn't let that stop me from trying to get all the possible life advice I could.
Dr. Hawkes constantly encouraged traveling and learning as much about the world as possible. He always said, "If you wait til you have the time and money to do travel, you'll never do it." He loved Virginia and all the state has to offer, but was also the first to criticize anything he considered poor management by the state government. He loved George Mason the person, and the University, and always stressed the importance of giving back to the institution of learning. Dr. Hawkes always made you feel good about the world, as if positive change was not only possible, but highly probable if only you'd do your part.
I knew he retired in the spring of 2006 and planned to move back to his family farm in Hanover County, and there wasn't a single time I drove in or around Richmond that I didn't think of him. Visiting Dr. Hawkes and his farm was on my "list of things to do"... but of course never got around to actually doing.
I so regret that now.
Suddenly gaining a new perspective can often be the most painful thing in the world. You're living your life, getting fed up with this or that, dwelling on things that seem so ridiculously important, when suddenly reality hits and you realize how much of your time is spent fussing over completely trivial matters.
Some people stay with you no matter how far away or how long it's been since you last met.
I will never forget you, Dr. Hawkes.
~cfc
For more information on Dr. Hawkes, please visit the following sites:
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