Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

i am so completely in love with the new scissor sisters album. seriously, can't stop listening to it. i felt like a child on xmas morning last night when i realized that the halloween brixton show was still up online for viewing. i blissfully sat in the box rocking out while the dirty hippies watched the bOOOORing show inside. i can't believe i've never seen the SS in concert before. unbelieveable! the brixton show looked like a lot of fun, wished i'd been there!

ended up staying at the state entirely too late last night, and i'm paying for it today! got my parking situation taken care of so i'm headed up to philly on a train this evening, rock on! i *heart* philadelphia.

i want to talk about TV for a small second, as i hardly have time to watch it anymore, i feel a little out of the loop. shows i do not love this season include: project runway (yawn) and nip/tuck (bigger yawn). i'm increasingly frustrated with all the haters that think LOST has jumped the shark. i'm loving it this season, even though i'm forced to watch it online the next day, it's so good. sayid is so hot. i really want to marry him. not the actor, but the character. (i live in a fantasy world.) :) also - i am addicted to grey's anatomy. never in my life have i so perfectly related to a character as i do with this show. i am a perfect hybrid of christina and izzie. (if you don't watch this show this is meaningless... but still.) before i started watching grey's, i had several people comment to me that the character of christina reminded them of me, so i had to giggle during the first episode i saw when christina talked about not liking to hug people! haha, i totally feel that! i immediately felt a connection to her character, but the more i watched it, i felt an almost stronger connection to izzie. i think christina pretty accurately represents the image i project to the world, while izzie captures a lot of what i'm feeling but don't say.

i dunno, that was a long tirade, and i suppose the larger issue is that i watch too much TV.

finally, i'd just like to say that, in my ongoing efforts to improve myself, i've done a lot of thinking about forgiveness. it's hard, i know. believe me, i know. i'd so much rather write someone off than deal with the aftermath of a bad situation, but sometimes you have to try. what could possibly be so entirely evil that forgiveness is not even an option? people make mistakes, bad decisions, and self destruct - how do you decide that a situation is past the point of helping them pick up the pieces?

~courtney

"I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit"
~Xtina

"so let me guess, he responded 'f*ck you' and you don't know how to interpret that."
~micah, the king of harsh reality. lol.