Why do I always give my heart away to trash?

sunday morning i had a conversation with someone i wouldn't exactly call a friend, and i told him how my last "relationship" was almost 4 years ago and i felt like i was ready to settle down and have a boyfriend for a while.
and he said "but even if you had a boyfriend, you wouldn't settle down..."
woah... i mean, when exactly did i become the type of girl that can't settle down????
wow. i've been called a lot of things in my life, but "the girl that won't settle down" is a new one.

'twas a head-scratchin' kind of comment, indeed. and it was during this same conversation that i realized one absolute truth about myself: i hate cuddling. truly. i just don't see the point in it. i mean, i can fake it with the best of them, but in an effort to keep things entirely real: i'm just happier not doing it.

spent sunday evening with mr. barnes & nobles himself, yusef... he basically ordered me to cure myself of the recent blah-ness by watching alllll of queer as folk. since he wouldn't let me BORROW his copy of season 1, i had to make it a blockbuster night. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.

speaking of hot queer-ness, rufus wainwright's "spotlight on christmas" had completely escaped my memory during the past year, but i remembered it with a vegence saturday night. love him. recently found out that gideon at work is quite a fan, and i single-handedly got him to purchase 'want 2' by yelling at him till he felt stupid for not having it yet. i'm a good fan. ;)

~courtney

"I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient - you get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit."
~brian, q.a.f.